It's that one trigger.
Sorry for the lack of posts, this space is officially heading towards a dead end and I don't think there's anything left for me to save/say. As I grow older I honestly feel less compelled to type in this space because of.... reasons. One of the main reasons is because there really isn't a need to blurt out all your thoughts and emotions on this huge public platform for anyone to see (even though I know like less than 4 people read this space haha).
Happy 2014! Though I'm a little late on this.
Yet another year has passed and here comes the new one where we have to haul our butts through it and just
try to survive.
Recently I've been talking to different people that really changes my perspective on certain things. I'm so inspired and it is truly so refreshing to be exposed to new thoughts, new ideas and new culture. It weirds me out because of the fact that we're all existing in the same world but we have such different ways of viewing it.
So many times as teenagers, especially being brought up in the typical Singaporean-Asian family, we're all taught to be this to be that, university is a must, society deems having xxx and xxx as being successful. It's so easy to be caught up in the rat race, and I hate to admit it but I'm in it. All the time, I find myself screaming in my head "I WILL NOT CONFORM TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT! I WILL LIVE MY OWN LIFE!! FUCK YOU SOCIETY!!" But at the same time, I'm still attempting to survive in uni, comparing myself to others in the most disgustingly shallow way. It sickens me and it's pretty ironic, isn't it.
How many of us truly get to take that step forward and chase after what you want. The first step to doing that is to really
know what you want. I was just telling my friend the other day about how jealous I am of people who know what they want or people who know what they're good at. It seems to be the case that at 18, so many people around me have found their niche / know what they want in life. Perhaps I'm just a late bloomer because up till now, I still can't put a finger on what I want to be when I grow up. And honestly it scares the shit out of me sometimes because shit, "when I grow up" is approaching. Fast.
"You make 30 seem like its so old." One of the comments that has been stuck in my head the whole week. I've never been that excited to turn 20, and thinking about the big 3 just frightens me to no end. Maybe I just need a change in perspective, and turning 30 might not be too bad. Someone please tell me I'm not alone on this. Because I feel like I'm so unprepared for anything and not ready for everything life throws at me.
I've laid out my priorities-
but are they mine or what is just expected out of me. I will never know.
