I’m lying on my bed flooded with so many thoughts invading my sleep again and wondering my brain loves sending itself into countless of made up scenarios, deductions and assumptions on situations that don’t / won’t happen.
I thought about what love meant and how we show them to each other, romantic or not. And the thought immediately came to mind when I switched off my light and the initial 10 seconds of complete darkness always scares me. My night blindness gets really bad and every time when I walk from my toilet to my bedroom in darkness, I’m always bumping into the chair despite both hands outstretched in front of my face. The inability to even make shapes of my hands in front of my face in darkness always scares me. And then I remember Cheeks, in every single dark room we walk into when exploring art, in every dark area of the clubs, where it’s pitch black- she always instinctively grabs my hand and walks forward, leading the way. I remember the first time she did that, I felt comforted, safe and asked her why she did that. She casually shrugged it off and said, your nightblindness what. And when she took my hand to lead the way, there was so much certainty, safety, direction and comfort in that. That is love. That is also friendship. She knows I am afraid and I can’t see what’s in front of me. She became my eyes and my shelter.
And I am so thankful for that.
