People always talk about having courage. Of course, courage rarely is something that one displays for a prolong period of time. It's for that one time. For that time you had to find the courage to tell your parents your crappy results, or that one time you decided on telling someone you like them.
You only either have it in you, or you got to search for it until you get it. Life puts you in shitty situations, allowing you many chances to build up courage to face certain things. We all have the bravery to do things that we never imagined we thought we could accomplish if we never took that step forward. Taking that step sometimes requires a lot of faith, and a truckload of courage. And I admire people who do that. Proud to say I've been lucky enough to have so many people in my life that have an insane amount of courage, being able to pull through whatever sticky situations they've been put in.
I want to be able to do things I always told myself I could never do. Allow myself to feel things I told myself to stay away from because sometimes things get too close for comfort you tend to lose yourself. For once, I want to be someone that is worth something, at least. Someone that is brave enough to be - anything, everything. I want to be fearless. Less worrying, less afraid of thinking of bad things that might happen if I took that step forward.
All of that just requires that crazy 20 second courage that everyone talks about, to take that one step forward and not regret it.
But until now, I don't even have that. Maybe one day, I will.
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