megahugeupdatesorryguys

This blog might possibly die at the rate i am trying to survive on purely just mobile data and zero internet  at my place. Am currently in Sher's room koping some internet to surf the web- by web I mean stalk everyone's blogs, youtube, emails, and tumblr. Gosh, how I miss high speed internet. Here's a whole chunk of updates if anyone actually bothers to even come back and check on this crappy blog I mean wts I blog with zero substance and sometimes I come on and type a long ass post but I delete it anyways wow.

The past few days I've been busy unpacking and unpacking and unpacking some more. Huge huge mega huge props for Sher's help because honestly I might have died from a mental breakdown if I had to do everything by myself. The business of unpacking and getting stuff for my new place just helps block out any form of homesickness I might (still) be suffering from but I guess it's all being pushed back in my head as of now. there's no time. It's back to seeing my friends and family on the computer screen for now. (that might actually happen if I HAD INTERNET BUT NO)

Orientation starts tomorrow and I know I'll be seeing a shitload of my Trinity friends, and there'll be more familiar faces than unfamiliar ones but for some odd reason I'm still pretty nervous. And people who know me well would know that I'm terrible at navigation and that's just Singapore. Now I have to navigate myself through a university campus by myself so that is kind of freaking me out because I hate the feeling of being lost.

Times like this I really get what it means to have a love-hate relationship with change. Change is good change hurts change is different change sucks change is new change is change. It's a brand new chapter in my life, I get to meet new people (hopefully), and I have to stop feeling to sad about certain things that I should have let go a long time ago. Emily told me some things that I will remind myself whenever I feel like shit because she is my advisor and I love her. She told me all about perspective and how much it can change the way you think/feel. I won't forget the time when she said, "You know what Rachel, I think you've finally learnt how to let go." She mentioned that I seemed happier and less hung up over my friends back in Singapore, that even though I miss them terribly I still learn how to adapt and be stronger than I was a year before.

It's nice to see every one of my friends being happy and contented with everything in their lives so far. Some got attached, some are dating, others are doing well in school.
I guess its that point in time where everyone is kind of okay.

I should be too.

Update on the visa crisis: 

Decided to ball up and call Australia's immigration again, since the last time I called the lady was pretty rude to me.

Turns out my case officer was in the office and she was really cranky but Clement told me to empathize with them and be as nice and understanding as I could be.

Went back to sleep, prayed super super super hard but I had a nightmare that my visa didn't come. Woke up and checked my mail. My visa was granted.

Thank you God. It's definitely not the first time He's done something like this for me, and I'm grateful for the peace He has given me the past few days. And also, providing the right people at the right time for the assurance and comfort and I really really needed.  :-)

So what does my brother do when I'm curled up in the corner of his bed suffering from a panic attack crying my eyes out and trying my best to breathe? 

He takes out his ipad, puts on his ear piece and throws me a tissue box. 

Really really really needed this. Especially today. 

Student visa isn't here yet and I've been worrying and worrying and I'm still worrying because my flight date is getting closer and closer and if I don't get my visa before saturday, I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do. 

(You can't fly to Australia if you don't have a Visa. And I have a very important talk to attend on monday) 

It's time to let go and let God. 

How do you love and respect others when you don't even have love and respect for yourself?

2011

Initially, the plan was to find some keychains to attach to my new college square keys when I fly back to Melbourne. But instead, I ended up searching through drawer after drawers, opening up each cupboard and finding a lot of things I thought I've lost back in my secondary school days.

I found magnets, old wallets with crumpled foolscap notes squished in them, pencil cases with leftover pens with no ink, and lots of other junk that brought me back to my secondary school days. :-(

Feeling so nostalgic now, especially when I see such things at 2am in the morning.

Like someone once said, "Rachel can say she left the sappy, but the sappy never left her."
Tell me how can you not have all these feels when you stumble across old letters and a crap load of old junk I used to love so much.

You said that was the cheesiest, most unoriginal line in the book.

Funny how you use it now.



NTS:
Having 2 consecutive dreams does not mean anything. It simply means my brain needs some proper rest.

July Babies

Happy Advanced 18th Birthday to all my beloved July babies!!! :-)

Happy 18th to Glenda, Ame, Lavelle, Jodie and Pam! 

Love you guys so much :'-) 

Had a small dinner with the girls last night and it was amazing, as usual. 

Spent the night catching up, watching beauty and the geek and looking past all the beard and shitty dressing of the geeks in the show together, teaching them all how to tim tam slam (this has GOT to be one the highlights of my holidays), watching the 9pm channel 8 show, had Jeanette Aw reply me on twitter hahahahah it was so epic seeing everyone burst into laughter after finding out. Lastly, we ended off by having 18 cupcakes for the 18 year-olds-to-be! 

Glenda and Nicole stayed over and we spent the night talking a whole lot of crap, just like last time. It's comforting to know that some things really don't change. :-)

Hope everyone had a great night and I'm glad we all stuck together. 

I wouldn't change a thing, and it's really amazing how things just work out. 

(psst, thank you to Aralin for serving as a reminder to so many things I was thinking about the past week) 

x_x

I wish I had confidence. And right type of things that can bring about confidence. Because all that it is right now is a lack of.

To lack, is to be me and this blows. :-( Tell me where can I find my self esteem.

DO I EVEN DESERVE SELF ESTEEM LOL (MAYBE NOT???)