Empty Vessel

a thought, after you telling me that we should draw the line and just be friends:

physical intimacy is the easiest way I can get validation, comfort and love all at once. to build something emotionally sound, stable and to be interesting enough to appeal to someone - this I cannot seem to do. this month I've learnt that i do not know so many things, i cannot keep up with conversations, i lack the general knowledge and all i've been so obessive with is my work, my work and my career. and even in that aspect i know so little. i lack so much personality, character, interest and substance.

in the end i am just an empty vessel constantly trying to empty myself up for people i love to fill me up. but what i've come to learn is that empty vessels don't attract. they stay empty, and here i am struggling to change myself but still stuck in the same spot. it is truly nauseating and i dont know what to do anymore.