I just thought I should update this space since I've sort of screwed up yet another mid sem exam and I've been tied down so much with studying, keeping up with school and not bothering to write much about a lot of things.
A close friend once said to me, "If you're not feeling troubled, then don't find the time to sit yourself down and let your negative thoughts manifest in your head. That's finding something to be sad about."
So, really, I have been okay. And I haven't felt so okay and nonchalant about things in quite a while, so it's a bit weird. There's obviously some good days, and some bad days where I just feel like complete shit but I guess there were other things that were more worth my time then.
Half way through my first semester in my final year and I'm!! Still!! Not!! Ready!! For a lot of things coming my way. Applications and socialising tire the hell out of me. Hence, new friends made this semester: 0.
I read through my diary and this blog, and I actually miss having so much time to write (relatively) eloquently about my feelings and emotions. I've forgotten how to write like that already and it really is disappointing. There's no direction in this post but I'm just trying to sum up what has been floating around my head the past few days.
It has been a mixture of feeling weirded out, going back to something familiar for a very short amount of time, and then being okay with things and then handling shit that school throws at me. When you thought you lost something and you go back to it for that split second, it almost feels like Deja Vu, you know?
So far, things are alright. Like I once penned down somewhere in my diary, "Bad thoughts have stopped haunting me for now and I'll be okay for now." 17 year old Rachel got that right.
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