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of course, I'd pick the worst time to write anything here in this space. I've never been good with timing, anyway. Currently suffering from some mild food poisoning but it's been a reflective past few weeks - probably because of all this rain that's coming this January. It's a bit weird, to have the rain come a few weeks after December. 

reconnecting with an ex lover made me realise how much things have changed but also the irrational part of me will still pick the same person again, and again. I wonder why I'm always choosing them over anything else. objctively, will i advise someone on the same choices that my subconscious mind seems to wander into? I'm constantly closing my eyes with the thought of having a future again with this person. Romanticising isn't something that's good for the mind because it completely disregards the reality of heartbreaks, tragedy and old mindsets that broke us up anyway. 

I'm writing this to remind myself to snap out of this infatuation, of heading back to familiarity just because it's the only thing I have known. 

Wake the fuck up, Rachel. Things ended twice for a reason, and the third time won't be a charm.