So Cheeks and I were discussing on the movie "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" and she brought up a really good point - where she said Josh was confused and initially wanted to entertain the thought of dating Larna Jean and then he focused on how he was losing her as a friend. And there was another scene towards the end where LJ was talking to Josh and told her that before she met Peter he was the first person that she really liked because of who he was, and when she met Peter the feelings for Josh disappeared and she realised that she was in love with Peter and not Josh. That scene where she was trying to confront her feelings for Peter and she said if it wasn't real and he didn't want her then that's fine. But if it was real and he didn't want her... Josh then cuts in telling her that at least she will know and we have to tell people how we feel when we feel a certain way.
I don't know. It's a stupid romcom that's probably perfect for 17 year old me but there were some good scenes in there I guess. I was just thinking... if LJ met Peter and realised that her feelings for Josh were only platonic, like best friend platonic... I wonder if whatever happened this year just made me think how I still always wanted the same person after all and if anything - I miss the friendship over all the physical things.
I love both my best friends and I'm starting to realize that maybe because I'm so dependent on people, I find too much comfort and built too many shelters in the people I love. I can't decide, I can't decide.
But one thing I know for sure - you always have my heart in so many ways, A.
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