X

I hate how you ruined me you fucking ruined me I hate that I let you in I hate that you did this to me without even realising the damage that you caused I hate that I never let myself heal I hate that I let myself feel this way I hate how it changes every single damn way I think now I hate that you can be so happy and I can't I hate that you ruined me I hate that I let you I hate that you can be so happy and I can't I hate it I hate this I hate being this torn up I hate thinking like this I hate being like this I hate letting myself be so vulnerable because of you I hate being alone I hate being lonely I hate being able to still feel this way after so long I hate it because it meant it never left I hate being this low being this broken whenever I get reminded of something I fucking hate it I hate it

I want to love myself I really want to feel worth something I want to be happy I want to be loved I want to be as good as before I want to find the same type of happiness so many people around me seem to have I want to have confidence I want to feel good about myself even just for a bit


But I can't, and I doubt I ever will. Things hit too hard back then and it got me feeling that I deserve none of this. I know for a fact now that I am condemned to this way of thinking until I finally find a way to untangle myself out of this mess I created for me to drown in.

You're detestable. But I find myself more appalling and loathsome than you ever will be in my eyes.