Elusive Thoughts (They Have Never Been Clearer)

You wrote me a song, Closure, back in 2013
and only told me this year that it was written for me

I listened to the lyrics with such intensity-

you said, "I deserve better" now don't give me that crap

we're like broken glass that can't be fixed though I keep all the broken pieces

help me move on

I remember how you always lick your lips
before kissing me
that night when you kissed me so many times until
we couldn't stop laughing
I wanted to tell you my lips felt like the bark of a tree and you were the woodpecker
now I wonder how many girls you have done the same with

It is nice knowing that you wanted to see me tonight, and the other night 

she told me that you said,

"I actually kinda really want to see Rachel" 

I'm calculative but every time you put out a line like this 

I still bite that shit and swallow it down 

you still win

Perhaps it was
the incessant need for you to feel needed
my desperate desire to be loved by you
it all came apart again with old words
multiplied with age
half-truths don't sound as good anymore