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Red alert red alert! Rachel has lost the fight, again. Lost it. Disappointment. But what do you do after every setback or meltdown? You be okay again. No matter how much it sucks to be this way, you have to feel okay again. Desperately trying to find that small bit of courage that I have in me. I choose to believe that I have courage because it would suck if I keep thinking bad thoughts given the state I'm in. Haha positive thinking!!! I can do this!!! I will be okay!!! Hahahahahhaahhahaha omg weak la I'm weak.