X

I knew it. That somewhere and somehow, I would just snap. Even if it was just for a little bit.

Tonight, in the midst of all these emotions and thoughts and feelings and words that I've kept in for so long, I picked up my phone and realised that I almost have no one to call. And even if I did, I almost nothing to say. Whatever I'm feeling so shit about is almost everything that bows down to being so disgustingly self obsessed. I can almost hear my mind screaming to get over hoping that anything could have happened because you don't deserve anything so why are you hoping. But the other half me just feels broken up and angry and hurt and all sorts of whiny. I just dont know who I can say all of this to, and at this moment its where you feel so lonely and alone and I fucking hate everyone and their shitty attitudes.

Fucking exclusivity. So fucking what. It sickens me that you can be so lucky. That night what you told me, I know you meant it but look what you're surrounded with - the right people at the right time and I can't help but feel so overwhelmed with jealousy because what do you have that deserves that and what do I lack to not have that. And you know I know, but you fucking put your facade on refusing to let me in and one thing I guess I'm happy witj is that I never did once let you in because I've realised, all you ever want is attention. Fuckin surrounded by people all the damn time.

I dont know i dont know it sounds like a fucking joke rn like a bloody paradox like I'm pointing out faults in people but wtf about ne omg omgomgosndowshownflwmgje i cannot ok bye also, i hate the fact that people bitch me on texts like fuck i know you have bf issues but dont come bitch me on texts just cauae i don't reply ok

Fuckin people and their attitudes im a fuckin hypocrite so fucking WHAT.