How easy it must be
to be able to detach so effortlessly,
to be able to fully "live and let live"
without bothering about the consequences,
without caring too much about the other person (you have said your piece, anyway)
hanging onto every single last damn thing
How easy it must be
for those paradoxical words to roll off your tongue,
"I love you, but! I don't love you enough to try for something more."
They were always hesitating, never direct, never confrontational-
which ended up making me doubt myself instead of
doubting you
How easy it must be
for you to act as if I was like another fling, (maybe I was)
to be so incapable of understanding words and the repurcussions of everything
and even though I sometimes grapple with trying to find the right words to say
you could not even muster an apology sober (that came 3 years too late)
how dare you not take responsibility
How easy it must be
to have those fucking cute girls stupidly, foolishly lined up at your disposal
for your entertainment, company and to fill up the blanks in your social media
you must be so void of emotion, so desperate to seek love in all its wrong forms
your egocentricity runs in all of the things you do
I am constantly struggling to segregate the idea of you, the real you, loving you and having you love me back, too.
Sidenote: the other day, I was reading up about the traits of a sociopath and reading this list made me realise that you are a fucking sociopath.
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