Because you win some and you lose some, why can't I just get that drilled into my head by now.

Last night we were just talking about the friends we've lost along the way and I thought about 2 people. One that I've already lost, I've also given up on trying to save it (because it simply isn't worth it after the past few years). And another that I feel I'm losing.

Figured I'm always getting myself caught up in these shitty situations because I always tell myself to believe in them, no matter how many times they tell me something but go back on their words, I always somehow manage to convince myself that they wouldn't do it again. That this time, it'll be different. Never happens.

Always hoping for the best. To think about it, it was one of the most manipulative and tiring friendships I ever went through- got taken advantage of, ignored other people's advices about getting close to that person, got lied to many times. And even after all that, I still chose believe that they might change for the better and that it'll be okay because you know, we're kinda like best friends. Now when I recall most of the fights we had, it was always revolving around the same thing. When I think back on the times I really needed you as a friend, you were only there to listen momentarily to the story. And when you needed someone, I stayed up all though the night, listening and listening. When you needed anything else, you never hesitated to ask because you knew I would do anything (back then) to help you. Blind, I was so blind.

Last night just proved that I was wrong about people again. I need to stop being so gullible and hopeful. Because there is nothing more devastating when you find out you've been hoping and waiting for absolutely nothing. You feel cheated, sad and unimportant. Not saying that I should be seen as important to somebody, but I thought I might mean at least something based on the amount of rubbish we've been through the past few years.

Oh well, like they always say: you only stop hurting when you stop caring. I might start doing that because it sucks to be on the losing end. And in my case, seems like I'm always on the losing end. I'm fucking tired.

4:35 am says hello to me again. 

It is now officially the last week of Term 2. Next week, I'll be sitting for my semester 1 examinations and I am freaking out. The past weekends have been spent studying with my friends and hopefully everything I've studied stays in my brain or else I might just....... die. 

This weekend was a fun one - all weekends are, actually. Crazy jams in between studying could not be anymore appropriate, and pizza. Gosh, what would studying be without snacking right? Fats all come to mama. 

Sorry for the lack of updates. I am coming back to Singapore soon and I really can't wait! I've received some good news from Nicole, saying that the day I arrive in Singapore, the day my poly friends end their common tests. That means......... DINNER and good hangzzzzzz. 

I'm off to bed now and I shall count my blessings because..... we all should. 

Nicole Lim Kar Mun + some clique luvin':

Since I have already expressed my undying love for this crazy (freshly turned) 17 year old girl through text and a 4 hour skype call, I figured I should share with you guys how much I actually love her- and at the same time, how much JJSNP means to me.... if you didn't already know. Hahaha.

Do not ask me how I remember the stories behind these photos, because I just do. I'm pretty amazed myself. Looked through all the collections of photos I have of you guys and gdi I swear I was mixed between wanting to cry and laughing my head off.


Let's start off by acknowledging this amazing thing called puberty. And braces.

Sec 1:



Sec 2: (remember this was after our sec 2 class party which was so amazingly well planned because half of us were in class comm haha)

Sec 3: After recess and hanging in the void deck with the netballers. 

Holidays + Poly + 2012, basically:

Yay for the fact we have a clique photo every year!!!!! (except sec 4 because honestly our sec 4 photos were just recess photos with us doing really retarded shit like taking photos with the plastic wrapping of the chrysanthemum tea bottle jamie always gets etc etc).

It still amazes me, and I'm sure whenever we talk about the fact that we've known each other for 5 years now and can still find so much bullshit to talk and laugh about, we just sit back and go... "wow." Secondary school days would never be the same without Jamie, Jodie, Nicole, Sam and Pamela in my life. Cheesy, sappy, but true. We've realised that we basically saw each other's faces for 4 years straight every day, 5 days a week, sometimes even on weekends because we used to go out and "study". Holidays weren't holidays without going out, so we still saw each other. Even though we got placed in different classes in upper sec, recess time was always the same and I'm so thankful for that. All the laughters, stupid jokes, class adventures we shared was truly unforgettable.

And after Os, Prom+MBS, followed by an intensive 6 day holiday with Jamie, Jodie, Nicole and Aralin. It was crazy because we basically lived with each other for 6 days and it was pretty amazing that none of us felt homesick one bit. And when pam (our pride and joy) was in JC, the rest of us basically spent every day during our 6 months break going out- causing us to be so ridiculously comfortable with one another until we got so nervous towards the end of the holidays afraid that we would have forgotten how to interact normally and make friends when we went to poly. Hilarious, I know.

2012 has been great so far and we've met some pretty weird, crazy and funny people this year that are somewhat like us. Our poly friends are an amazing bunch, and it's funny because all of us never expected to meet each other and it was really just fate (bam another cheesy line).

Also 2012 is deemed great because we met Ame. Meeting Ame who so easily just, i don't know, fit right into..... our weirdness and got our sense of humour. Based on the fact that she's equally as weird, I'm glad we met her.

Weird? Observe.

Don't know how this:

equals this:

Point proven. Love this crazy girl so much, though. 

OKAY ENOUGH SAPPY I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH RAMBLING.

Here's one for Nicole. 5th year celebrating your birthday (ok well not exactly but yeah), proud to be your friend, little dipshit.

Pictures taken in sec 1 that we still roll on the floor laughing about even until now. Enjoy.

The famous nicole smirk ^

A close up view ^

Friday ritual: School's out -> slack around in class till we were the only ones left -> Draw shit on the whiteboard -> talk -> macs

Damn it, totally miss those days. 

Our first halloween party!!! Back in 2009. Haha totally remembering Nicole making her grand entrance as a chao ah lian and everyone started to crack up. We suggested that she should come as an ah lian because that was kind of the first impression we had of her back in sec 1 orientation, when she asked the teacher, "so can we wear FBTS?" (when the teacher said we had to wear school shorts during PE)

And then another memory that still makes us laugh like crazy after 4 years. That fateful day Jamie and Nicole fell right in front of parkway macs. Because- Jamie slipped on the tray paper that was on the floor and grabbed nicole by the bag and pulled her down as well. (yes, see that paper under jamie's foot? that's it right there)

note: I am laughing as I type this because I just recalled everyone's faces.

Laughing about this since '09.

Macs days = crazy days = fun days. Here's a bit over the years:

Found that in my folder and I burst out laughing. ^

Nicole over the years. (HAHAHA NOW YOU SOUND OLD)
I love you la, crazy girl. The countless times we talked on the phone from sec 1 even until sec 4. Where I used to fall asleep halfway and mumble out shit. Conferences with Jamie. Calling you when I'm sobbing my eyes out over a book and you're just there laughing on the other line but that's okay because I know you still love me, haha.


2009, valentine's day. Midnight movie, remember??!!??! Burger king at wheelock. Sticking straws into your hair because it was so thick. Still is.

Sec 3 end of MYEs, esplanade roof top. I was falling sick. This is still in Nicole's wallet. So much love. ^

Sec 3 sleepover + rock band + movie slumber party. Started off with dinner at parkway's subway, and then rock band and then movie and then we just talked shit. Pretty darn nice knowing that with the right group of friends, you don't need anything fancy to keep everyone entertained. Haha.

Recess would have never been the same without you, Nicole. Our love for egg yolk and rice mashed up together is special. No one can take that away from us. And trading class stories/happenings always made me laugh. Be it if it was something stupid you did, or something stupid the 4/8 girls did. Or it might be stories pamela might be telling everyone, on how Mrs Tan had to call my (full) name 12320948345 times and pam had to kick my table and chair another 203458909 times till I woke up, or how Jamie's pile of tissues grew in population again...... it was fun. 

So candid, but so nice. :') RECESS WITH THE CLIQUE IS ALWAYS AMAZING. 

Another epic face collection, recess style:

Thank you for being such a ray of sunlight and bullshit in my life. All at the same time. Can't do without the crazy texting even after school, the insane amount of rubbish we come up with, the levels and levels of friendship we have attained. Thank you for everything. 

So blessed to have them in my life dlknfdlkhjr argh ok I'm honestly out of words and I'm out of ways to express my undying love for them. Thank you for being there for all the stupid and lame and dumb heartbreaks I went through, and just being there when I needed a friend. The encouragement we gave each other during exams, especially Os was just...... amazing. Jamie, you still owe us that buffet at Shangri-la. You did not get 18 points. 

M e m o r i e s : 

PROM NIGHT HAS BEEN A YEAR OMGWTFBBQBANANA 1 YEAR MBS 1 YEAR AGO POST PROM ADVENTURES 1 YEAR AGO. JAMIE RUNNING AROUND OUR ROOM CORRIDOR IN A HOTEL BATHROBE AND THE THING TIED AROUND HER FOREHEAD 1 YEAR AGO WOW. 

Here's to our "you're stuck with me forever" friendship. Love you, Nicole Lim Kar Mun. Happy 17th.

Note: I tried to sort these out in chronological order as much as I could. :( 

It's a long post with a lot of pictures.

I know there's a shitload of horrible funny faces of nicole up there. and i feel bad.
so........... I'm only doing this because it's nicole's birthday and I know how much she cracks up looking at this photo..............

Happy 17th, AGAIN.