Maybe it's the long bus rides and horrible songs my ipod chooses to put on when it's on shuffle mode. Or maybe it's the PMS that's kicking in. Could be the mad weather, or the sudden change in environment I'm in. Haha, or it could be the fact that it's already may.
I know i've been going on and on about treasuring every single moment and that shit but it seems like I don't know how to. Every time I think of something, anything, it leads me back to the same old crap and it goes over and over again until I get so tired of it.
It's tiring. Catching up with all these things that seem to be fading away. Trying to hold onto them and never let them go. It's true. Some days really stay gold forever. I can't keep thinking of going back. I'm tired but that's an understatement.
I guess it's just one of those days you just blast John Mayer and Taylor Swift songs and sit on the floor and cry your eyes out about everything sad in your life. Cry and cry and cry and get everything out of your god damn system so i'll stop feeling so fucking disgusted with myself all the time. Maybe blast some loud, bangy, angry, angsty music and drown in the beats and bass and hopefully try to forget this feeling for a while. It's hard to shake it off. I've tried, and it's not easy.
Hahah maybe everything's happening because I should have seen it coming. It's my fault. Happy Mayday, guys.
