There comes a point in time that you realise that there's so many things to do but so little time. But ha, don't we always complain that there's not enough time for everything?
A few things I'd like to do but never actually got to it (yet):
1. Those 2 god damn rolls of film from my fisheye that has been living in my bag since forever and I never got around developing it.
2. Paint. I found a brand new canvas at the back of my shelf, and rediscovered my whole pencil case filled with acrylic paint and 8 paintbrushes that I used to love with my whole life back in primary school when I actually believed I was talented in something. No. I suck at painting and I have zero creativity when I stare at something blank. But I still want to relive that feeling of holding my favourite 7-thickness brush and dipping it into paint.
3. Wear something nice out. School everyday = shitty clothes. Weekends..... I don't really dress up much I don't know why.
4. Have a pet plant. I miss loely, the aloe vera plant I murdered in sec 3.
5. Clean up my fricking table because it's always in such a mess I feel like the mess is slowly cluttering up my brain.
6. Paint my nails. Haven't done that in a long time.
7. Use my film cameras again, they feel so neglected but I can't help but always seem to find an excuse to not use them. I don't really go out much anyway, I stay at home and rot. What pictures do I take now...?
8. Go back to TK one day and eat prawn mee and feel at home.
9. Be happy. The type of happy that makes you feel like your heart is going to explode burst into flowers and rainbows and sprinkles and shit. So happy that you feel invincible. Like no one can hurt you. Even yourself.
10. I'd say: Fall in love. So hopelessly and deeply in love for this point. But it's just the sappy part of me that wants it. I think this point just contributes to the point above that I want to be happy. Not feel this empty and alone all the time.
As you can see, majority of the points mentioned above are not completed because of my best friend procrastination.
Last night I lost it and now my eyes are so puffy and swollen I'm so amazed that I could even open them today. I feel so tired. But there's just so many useless things to do, so many things to think about, so many people to please. I'm starting to scare myself, I'm afraid that I might actually lose it.
