breathe.

Another week has passed by so quickly. It has really been mope week sometimes I wish I could just rip my heart out and rid myself of all these unwanted emotions. Or maybe it's because my period is coming  and I'm just getting way too emotional over stupid things. Blergh WHY can't I be the cool person who has a blog and actually uses it productively and blogs with amazing english, beautiful photos yada yada whatever screw it.

I am the queen of mope. Things I have done the past week because of my shitty attitude towards life in general so far:

1. Completed a 8km run under 50 minutes.

2. Get even more grumpy in the mornings and gave some fuckass attitude to my housemates who don't deserve it at all.

3. Cry myself to sleep (as pathetic as this sounds......... gdi)

4. Sit ups and crunches before I sleep to make myself sleepy (didn't work)

5. Stare at the ceiling for 1 hour before knocking out convincing myself things that I should believe.

6. Got drunk. (unintentionally, actually.)

7. Puked. AND I HATE PUKING BECAUSE IT IS SO PAINFUL ESPECIALLY AFTER DROWNING HALF A BOTTLE OF VODKA. 

8. Woke up, felt like shit and moped in my bed and decided on not going for 2 lectures in the morning because the mopey feeling wouldn't piss off already.

I just wanna roll around on the floor and just be. 

Maybe I should do that. 

But no I cannot because life goes on I still have to google easy, delicious fish noodle soup recipes for Sunday because I am cooking and I need it to taste good or I might kill some people. Life also goes on because I have a stack of assignments that I am about to drown in if I do not complete them. 

And god damn these crazy ass drunkards outside on the street STOP TALKING SO LOUDLY I WILL RIP OUT A KNIFE AND KILL YOU. I have been thinking really angry thoughts recently it's actually quite scary since I don't exactly get angry with people easily. 

Like on monday, this indo boy in my class he really knew how to get on my nerves. It was lit tutorial and we were going through one of Shakespeare's poems about the 7 stages of man and we were asked to share which stage did we think we were in or in between. This smart ass decided to share that he was  a part of all the 7 stages where he could be a young boy, a matured man, a lover bla bla. 

And then the teacher deicides to call my name and asks me to share my views with the class. Since a part of the stages went in this order: young boy, lover, matured man etc. I said that I was in between the young schoolboy and the matured man and i skipped the lover. She asked why did I skip the lover and the first thing I said was "Because honestly I feel that at this age, we don't exactly know what love is. So we can't possibly be convincingly in love with someone and think we would want to get married and settled down with." And this son of a mofo bitch decided to laugh after I said this. AND BECAUSE YKNOW I HAD A DAMN BAD MOOD ON MONDAY I NEARLY WANTED TO STAND UP AND PUNCH THAT COCKY ASS FACE OF HIS AND RIP ALL HIS HAIR OUT. Yes visuals. I had fricking visuals of me doing that and I was that pissed. I mean REALLY I respect your fucking smartass cocky views and you shut up and listen to mine. SO WHAT IF I THINK THAT  I DONT EXACTLY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS SO FUCKING WHAT. 

ok i am so riled up talking about this i should stop being so angry lol