X: It's all in your head but you can't think straight

Saturday, August 11, 2012

It's all in your head but you can't think straight

It seems as though as weeks go by everything seems to be getting tougher, the people I love getting more distant, the people I kind of dislike seem to annoy me even more, these disgusting thoughts haunt me even more every day it's like i'm going in circles again with these feelings and thoughts. Weak. So bloody weak I hate myself for being this weak. I need to toughen the hell up asap and stop feeling this way.

Or maybe it's PMS............. ok excuses.

Evidently the problem lies with me and not with anyone else but why can't I stop blaming others for the cause of this misery or some sort...... I can't say I'm miserable but I'm not happy. So i'm just in between. Always caught in between. Not living up to any expectations but just mine and it's not even happening.

Ha.

Poly kids are starting their exams the coming week and I can't really do much or say much except try to make them feel that little bit more encouraged with a whatsapp message to them. Sorry I'm not there but here's all the love I have sending it to you via cyberspace from Melbourne. You guys have been studying so hard, I can see it from the WA conversations, the tweets, talking to you guys individually. Everyone's stressed and studying very hard. You guys will ace it, i'm so proud of y'all.

On another note I desperately need to stop looking back at photos and getting hit by waves and waves of nostalgia because I can't take any of this shit right now. I need to stop wondering if anything has changed if everything would be different than what it was when I'm back. hahahah i mean okay overthinking rachel strikes again. What could possibly change in a short span of about 2 months? I need to stop thinking. (....and hit the gym more)

Whatever. I looked at some photos today and I guess I'll just share it over here because I can.

Dear friends, remember this? Please don't forget.