I've become disgustingly hollow. I read so much that I've come to realise that there is so much things that are worth doing, thinking, writing about. And here I am wishing I was something better. This empty feeling always gets to me sometimes and I guess it's just one of those days. And so because of my lack of words and my horrible writing skills, all I can do is relate to quotes I read off the books I'm currently reading or blog posts that I see on the internet.
It always gets so annoying. Why can't I actually be good at something. It seems as though I'm breezing through school and it feels like a blur, I don't exactly dress well, speak well, my vocab sucks and sadly I'm not able to string ridiculously complex words together to make everything sound so sophisticated, suck at math, suck at science, average for economics, blergh, can't paint to save a life, my photos on film suck..... lack of this lack of that -all that other superficial physical discontent shit insert here-
Ew I know so self absorbed and I guess in order to hate yourself you kind of have to be like this once in a while. Or quite a while. I'm still getting the hang of this whole.... existing thing.
urgh its gross to keep talking about these things.
1 comment:
You are lovely. You have a cracker sense of humor and everyone loves you for that. You play wicked guitar and the songs you make up are wonderful. You do speak well, trust me. You write pretty awesome too. Everybody quotes, but the parts that you write that are just plain Rachel are still brilliant. Your film photos do not suck, I really do love them, I tell people how cool your colors come out. You are beautiful and an amazing friend. And you are incredibly brave for so many reasons, including going off to fend for yourself in Australia. And these are only on the top of my head, Rach. <3
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