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urgh so frustrating i wish there was a delete button to all these feelings. So does growing up really mean that you start fighting your own battles and get your own scars and your loved ones can only just stand there and feel completely hopeless and useless and sorts of pathetic. I mean we all fight our own battles, but damn, why is it so hard to tell someone that's doing the same to feel better. A little bit hypocritical I know, but when you love someone all you want them to feel is happy. Or just better than what they are feeling at that moment, no matter how broken up you are inside you tell them that it's going to get better and that everything is going to be okay.

But almost all the time, we don't believe one another. Maybe because we don't believe it ourselves. Ha, takes one to know one. 

Lol it's quite hard to imagine two people so broken up but still falling in love with each other, how does that actually work. I mean lol sorry it doesn't make sense to me right now. If I'm this screwed up all the fucking time, and you're screwed up too then how do we make anything work, if you get what I mean. How do you make the other person feel better when you're screwed up yourself, i mean won't you be lying to the other person and also lying to yourself if you say that everything's fine and everything's ok when it's obviously not? Words of comfort is definitely not my forte. Well, that's me and I think I'm not going to be liking anyone for quite a while. Hahaha there's just too much emotional burden to feel this much for a person so fucking far away from me, and maybe it's all just in the head. I give up. At least try to.  

No wonder it's hard to find couples that stick together for so long. Because when things get so dysfunctional and messed up, everyone just runs away instead of solving the problem. 

HAHAHA OK FUCK IT WHO'S UP FOR JOINING THE NUNERY WITH ME AND TAKING THE VOW OF CELIBACY? 

on another note, my friend just told me that when her ex broke up with her, one of the "comforting" sentences he told her was "During the 18 days we were together, I did love you." 

I MEAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK LOL BOY YOU ARE SO FUCKING DUMB I MEAN 18 DAYS DYOU EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS LOL LOVE IS DEF NOT MAKING OUT ON THE BED AND SHIZZ YKNOW THAT'S JUST YOUR BLOODY HORMONES LOVE LOVE LOVE I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE ME THAT WORD IS JUST USED TO FUCKING CASUALLY I WANT TO PUNCH THE NEXT PERSON WHO GETS INTO A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP FOR 18 DAYS AND SAYS I DID LOVE YOU WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER LOL IT OBVIOUSLY TAKE YOU ONLY 2 WEEKS TO GET OVER SOMEONE YOU "LOVED" HAHAHAHAHAH SO STUPID LOVE WHAT IS LOVE.