For Future Reference

To future Rachel, things to learn from your parents:

1. Your mother's patience 

2. The way your mother puts her family first

(you can see it through her dry and wrinkled hands that were damaged thanks to the laundry detergent you can also see it through the dishes she prepares despite a long day at work) 

3. Your mother's attitude 

(she tells you to be live simply and stay contented all the time) 

4. Your father's determination in everything he faces in life 

(you've seen it from the way he learnt how to walk after his surgery and the success he has achieved throughout the last 10 years all by himself)

5. Your mother's ability to stay connected to people that matter

(she's the only one out of the two of them that has friends, really)

To future Rachel, things NOT to learn from your parents: 

1. Your father's temper

(the way he throws around his anger onto people that actually care about him)

2. Your father's sense of entitlement 

(the way he fights with people on the road and becomes aggressive when people argue back)

3. Your mother's silence 

(there is a fine line between tolerance and letting him have his way) 

4. The way your father expresses himself 

(you know when he's in a good mood, everything goes. But when things go south, nothing works out and we're the ones at fault)

5. Your mother's words when she tells you, "women have to stay silent when the man in the house speaks." 

I hope that future Rachel will remember how your mother sat on our bed tonight, with tears in her eyes after a big fight with dad and when I asked her how she was feeling, she shrugged and said, " I just feel disappointed in him when he's like that." 

She had a bitter laugh and told me, "so choose your husband wisely. There are only drunkards, short tempered, or cheating men." By then I was looking into her tired eyes that were glazed with a sheet of tears waiting to roll down her face but she held them back. He is her husband after all. 

My eyes welled up with tears at that point and I shook my head, "no Ma, if that's it then I don't ever want to get married." 

She got up from my bed and she told me, "you just make sure you don't marry someone as angry as your father."