I Can't Make You Love Me ; You Can't Tell Me About The Love I Deserve

"He was right. In every city I go, every person I come across, every song that hangs in the air – he’s everywhere. He never leaves. But he’s a ghost. Someone who is there, but I can barely talk to. Someone who I desperately need, but cannot desire. It’s impossible to always be in love with a ghost."

Rej Jaen, On Loving Ghosts

I need you I want you I miss you I - 

I don't want you but I want you 

I want you so so much because I believe that we can be good together 

but you also told me that you think you don't deserve me 

but you also told me that night, that I can't tell you who you love and 

you said you loved me 

and I wish I had the guts to tell you that 

you can't tell me who I deserve 

because you're beginning to become the first person I think of when I wake

and the last person on my mind 

with everything in between 

and two nights ago I had a nightmare that you wrote me a letter 

bidding farewell for the second time and you ended off your letter with,

"you were a good memory." 

I don't want to be a good memory 

I want to be more than that

and I want to know what it's like to be completely 

happy with you

but what am I supposed to do when you feel like

you can't ever make me happy

and what am I supposed to tell you 

to make you love me enough 

to try?

I can't.