Tonight I stumbled across this line, "Because you can't lose something that was never yours." And then it made sense again. It's in these small moments I find a little bit of clarity in the mundane days that seem to so quickly go by.
I got reminded of this conversation we had when we were whatever we were, and I jokingly prompted you, hoping you'd text me back with the word I've been wanting to get from you for so long, "mine."
All I wanted was for you to tell me that I was yours in that moment. But you took a long while to reply and I knew you were hesitating. You were always hesitating when it came to us, anyway.
So is this why it is so easy for you? Because you never saw me as yours. I was never yours to keep and to hold, so it was okay for you to let go. Because, because you can't lose something that was never yours.
For a very long time, whether I wanted it or not, you were something I called mine. My best friend. My first kiss. My first heartbreak. My first love. My second. Mine.
Was I never yours?
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