17

Wow can't believe I'm another year older. Turning 16 felt amazing, the feeling of liberation and stuff like that I don't know. Most of my friends and I agreed that saying that you are 16 sounds way older and more matured than saying you're 15. So I guess being 16 was good. And then came all the "you're finally old enough to watch NC 16 movies now yay!!!" but damn, when we hit 16, all the movies we wanted to watch were M18 so there wasn't exactly a point....

Birthdays always serve as such a good reminder that you're always surrounded by friends who love you and care about you. Every year, I get so overwhelmed by the friends i've been so blessed to have around me and i guess this year especially, when I'm in Melbourne I've learnt to treasure them even more.

It's very hard, actually. After having all our birthdays celebrated together for 4 years. Party after party, surprise after surprise, cake after cake. It's different this time, but still the same heartwarming buzzing feeling when you have all your friends oovooing you 3000+ miles away screaming happy birthday and talking shit. Where I still have Nicole giving me a birthday call and birthday text like she always does since forever. But I guess there's some different things that happened since I'm stuck in Melbourne and we all don't go to the same school anymore. We have Pamela going through so much awkwardness to make me a 20 second video of which I truly loved with all my heart and was so touched by, Ame and her GIF, Mistika and her facetime surprise, her birthday song for me which made me tear up. And of course, the wonderful oovoo call where I basically got to see everyone I love- Jamie, Nicole, Jodie, Pamela, Sam and Ame.

The past few days I swear I was trying to make myself believe the fact that it's been a year since Pamela and Aralin made my maid knock on the toilet door and asked me to come out halfway while washing my face and then screaming Happy Birthday when I opened the door. A year since texting nicole and asking her if she was still in paragon and then ten minutes later my room door opens and I have Jamie Jodie Sam and Nicole singing happy birthday holding a cake. A year since all of that happened. I swear it just felt like a few months ago. It was a small surprise, where we had a cake and then we drank ribena and sat in a circle playing go-fish afterwards. But it felt.... so. I don't know how to describe that feeling you get as though all you want to do is go up and hug every one of them telling them how much they mean to you, that feeling as though you are about to explode from all the happiness and joy and love you feel inside of you. It was those quiet, humid, warm sundays and all of them bothered to make their way down to my place - daring to say hi to my dad even though my dad and I weren't talking for 3 months, go through the trouble of all of that and just to surprise me. Sometimes it's not those big hoo-ha birthday bash where your friends/family book you a grand ballroom and you invite everyone you know to celebrate your birthday things that count, it's these small surprises with the people you love the most and custom-designed birthday cake that counts so much more.

But of course, how could I ever forget my 15th celebration? Damn it, 2 years. Guys it's been 2 years since that. And I know we all can't stop talking about it and still laughing at how everyone freaked out when I said I was on the way but I was only at Eunos. I will never ever forget that, and like how I described it back then I will still describe the same way now. When I think about it, I still get mini heart attacks. I was truly beyond touched by the amount of effort my wonderful group of friends put in to planning all of that, calling everyone I loved to come, my swim team, TK girls, juniors, marcus nick and kc, bryan and darryl (even though they didn't make it the effort still counts), and of course the amazing birthday presents I got that year. Polaroid film, lingerie, those really cute colour in disney books that they painfully filled up with pictures of boys that I have liked over the past years.

Thank you, so so much. I know it's so hard keeping in contact or trying to maintain our friendship to what it was back when it was the holidays, or when we were in TK, or even in poly. But I know we'll make it simply because we can. We all managed to stick together for so long after 4 years in school and even after tk, 9 months into our JC/poly lives and we're still tight. You know I love you guys and you all mean so much to me. JJSNRP until we grow old and die, right?

And of course, over the months I've come to meet some of the most amazing friends whom I truly treasure and love as well. So blessed to have you guys in my life and thank you for the birthday wishes and I am really touched - being the sap I am. Thank you Ame, Yingzhong and Edmund- specifically because I know it hasn't been a year since I know you guys but damn, 2012 is made of so many memories of you and I just want you to know that it wouldn't have been the same without you.

Not forgetting the love on twitter, whatsapp and facebook where I read it all and try my best to reply all of them. My TK girls, Team Awesome- Glenda Sasha Aralin Pamela Cassie and Jamie. Haha, I seriously miss everyone and I can't wait to come home and have that big party/dinner at my place.

Also, I know I complain a lot about not being able to be as crazy and as weird as I am with my best friends in Singapore, but I am so touched and blessed with the dearest friends I've found here in Melbourne. Thank you Chaewon, Jasmine and Sherwynn for making Trinity that much more bearable and my weekends that much more fun. Thank you to my darling Palmerston friends/housemates, Wenyi, Sherwynn, Jeanette, Isabel and Tim for brightening up my nights and having ridiculous supper at 2 am in the mornings with me and going for runs to yarra etc.

Really so thankful for everyone in my life right now and I guess this is me trying my best to be as coherent about it because right now all I want to do is give everyone a tight hug and cry my eyes out and scream about 3 more years to 20 and I dont' ever want to grow old and I want us to stay friends forever and how much I love each one of my friends.

So this is one long birthday post, but thanks for sticking it out with me.
Here's to being 17.